Everywhere, everytime.
He's everywhere. My clothes, my hair, my bed and the warm blanket, my entire room is screaming MARCUS!!! God, the smell of my man... I can't tell you how much I love it. It's everywhere, everytime he comes over. I love that. Us.
Harry Potter and the... the... the...
"So, a genius like Dumbledore couldn't possibly be fooled by a dodge as pathetically dim-witted as an Aging Potion."
Come on, how can you not love Harry Potter? I told my boyfriend I was gonna marry Potter, he wasn't very pleased about the idea. I'm longing for the Final Book. The very last Potter-book to be put on my bookshelve and join the rest of the Potter-family. The final closure. The End. Whoa, boy, is that gonna be something. J.K has written history. Ha, written, you get it? Ha, ha, ha... And I'm also waiting for the movies. Being a Potter fan means waiting, but in the end it doesn't matter... Potter is too god to be true. Kind of. Hey ho Potter! Nah, I have to study. I'm not even in the mood to write... boo!
Never touch a girl who's holding a Death cab record.
Aaaah... the sweet smell of Sunday. Actually, the sweet smell of a pair of mis-fitted jeans. I found a pair of jeans and tried them on. At least I tried to. Half way up, they stopped. The thick fabric rubbed itself against my fat thigh and refused to go any further. Picture Homer, trying to wear a pair of womens jeans. No, I didn't look like that. It was worse. Anyway, afterwards, I went to the record shop to check out some cd's I want. When I go in, there's a guy who's watching me every now and then. I honestly could feel his eyes on me, and I knew something was gonna happen. Unsure of what, but it did. As I was holding Plans byt Death cab, he passes me and strike my ass with his hand. Automatically I hit him. And he says "sorry" as a I shoot my evil look at him. Jerk!!! Moron!! Never touch a girl who's holding a Death cab record!!!
Long gone before daylight.
I don't understand the situation I'm in. It's as if I'm doing a puzzle, with this blurry image I can't recognize or see. It's unclear to me, what this history has done and damaged. It's consequences.
Oh, yes, now I've got it. I can't pin point that moment that ruined everything, that moment which torned that picture of a good life into something bad. But there's a gap now, which grows more vast and vider for each passing day. It keeps on growing until nothing's left of what was a good life. It's gone. It's never gonna come back, because of the big gap. It can't be filled again, it can't be repaired because there's no time left.
Time.
It's gone and I'm here, in the gap. In between dreams. Watching myself go deeper into it, I can't find a solution, that missing piece of the gap. There's nothing to fill. I just don't understand, no matter how much psychology I read. Maybe I don't need that? Maybe the answer is so simple, I go looking for it in the wrong place? Maybe I'm way above and need to come down and look for the answer down here?
Trust. What happend to it?
I don't know what to do, and maybe there's nothing left to save? It's too late? So, can anyone tell me, how to help a child that suffering from the bad and complicated relationship her parents have? Huh? Huh? HUH!?
It's been going on and on for so many years now I don't know what else to do but wet my face with salty tears. Is that it? Having this huge burden on your heart? Is that a life you want to give your child? Huh? Huh? HUH!????
I'm over with the analyzing part, the thinking part, and I still don't know the story. The Story. Who? What? When? Why? How? Why?
I want to live without having my heart kept in a jar of cold glass. I want to live without the lump in my throat. I want to live without having my stomach tying into millions of gazillions of knots. I want to live without having to go to bed with hundreds of questions and anxiety. I want to live without that burden. Is that too much to ask? Obviously, since neither Santa nor God has been answering for the past 19 years.
Piss off.
Sitting, wishing, waiting.
How many people read this crap anyway?
I'm sitting here, waiting for my husband-to-be to go online. Is he home yet? I just want to talk to him before I go to sleep. Is that too much to ask? I miss him a lot. It sucks that he has to live in the very same town I live in, though it takes about half an hour for him to come to my apartment or vise versa. Yes, it sucks a bit. I just wish he lived closer, so I could run over with home made cookies or something. But I can't do that now... Actually, he's the one who's doing all the baking and the cooking for me since I've got this case of apathy... Apathy releases the bad sides of us. Uhm. I think so. I mean, apathy leads to a lot of things, not very good ones, but are good too, in a way. You become lazy, careless, unmotivated; everything that starts with an
un-. After this apathy ride, you build a new wall of hopes and anticipation, and you get motivated to do stuff again. Isn't it? It's like taking a break, because being all hopefull is a bit exhausting. I think. What? Wasn't I talking about my husband-to-be? Oh, yeah, I did. See how I just switched from one subject to another. Amazing. No, he's still not online. Why am I waiting anyway?
GO BACK TO STUDY OR WRITE THE GODDAMN BOOK! Oh, wait, he's here now! Cool.
Oh, stars, take to the sky!
All of a sudden...
I'm thinking about writing a book. Uhm. Food. Cooking. You know.... cookbook?? Oh sweet jesus.....
How to enter a Chinese home.
I came to think of my boyfriend and his not-so-very-Chinese-aura... and wrote this.
* Have a lot of respect for the older people in the house.
* Still, be talky, and you always have to say hello to everyone.
* When being asked to have dinner or similar, always ask the asker and everyone else to eat, don’t just sit down and eat yourself. That’s is not how it works.
* Post-eating, always do your dishes, but if someone tells you not to, you either not do it or still do it. You can even offer to do your disher.
* Oh, and when it’s time to depart, say good bye to everyone.
* Offer to help is nice.
This is not much.... Everwood stole me.
Ugh....
Seriously, I really want to punch her face! Boy, did she annoy me today, and the rest of us. Maybe she heard me say something? Anyway, I don't care, I'm gonna tell her anyway. Gosh. Don't come here and say I don't do my share, because I've done it for twelve years, so shut the f**k up!!
Something wise...
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn´t do than the ones that you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Discover." -Mark Twain
Oh, how fun!
A parrot developed the bad habit of fucking the farmer's hens, making them quit laying. The farmer tells the parrot if he does it again he will pull out every feather in the parrot's head. The next day, the farmer again catches the parrot humping a hen, and snatches the parrot bald. The following day, the farmer's wife hosts a formal dinner. She thinks it would be unique if the parrot greeted the guests and told them where to go. She had spent nearly a year training the parrot for this. As the guests began entering, the parrot dutifully announced,
"Ladies to the right! Gentlemen to the left!"
Spotting two bald guys entering, the parrot says,
"And you two chicken-fuckers get up here with me."
What kind of sign does a prostitute hang on her door when she goes on vacation? Go Fuck Yourself.'
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying,
"Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident."
"OH NO!" the president exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, his head cradled in his hands. Finally, the president looks up and asks,
"How many is a Brazillion?"
You gotta go there to come back
Candyland! Yey! I've been way too lazy today, and it sucks. Charmed, candy and Marcus. Good job, really, so you think the esseys will write itself? I obviously do, since I was eating candy in the bed whit Marcus while watching Charmed. Anyway, how some people can be stupid. And I'm not talking about myself... I'm talking about certain people. Shit. This suck ass in hell. Btw, my shoudler hurts. Sorta.
Charrrmed!
Seriously, for eight years? Is that a good show or what? I like it. Not very fond of the cancellation of the show, but anyways. The power of three will set us free. Yeah ok! Though a bit redicoulus, but fun. Did I tell you I missed Shannen? Whoa.. I did. Especially the irony. Ha..! And Leo, Leo, that cutie Leo. Gah! I miss Markie!
And I thought my family was screwed up?
